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One of the things that really gets me is-

Okay, look. I can say ‘I don’t like feet, feet aren’t just something that does it for me, it’s not my thing, and it probably never will be’ and half of you are either nodding along, shrugging, or wondering why the hell I’m even bringing it up. I can say ‘you know, I’m ridiculously attracted to guys with fluid gender roles, it’s almost a fetish in that it almost always gets me hot’ and at least some of your are blushing and wondering if the rest of this is safe to read in the same room as your parents (it is, btw. No more sexy sex talk than that.)

But if I say ‘large girls don’t do it for me, it’s not something I’m into’- there. At least half of you are either offended, or think the next sentence is going to be body/fat-shaming (it’s not, btw. I’m also not going to stand up on my soapbox and stamp my feet and shrill about having a right to like what I like and you should all change your opinions to match mine.)

The thing is, if you accept that I have no choice in being attracted to males and females and anything in between or apart, you must also accept that I can’t help that I’m physically attracted to a certain type of body.

This doesn’t mean I couldn’t fall in love, or even befriend someone outside that body type. It also, equally, doesn’t stop me from appreciating beauty outside that sexual attraction.

It just happens to mean that I get wet for shorter, sleeker, wirier people with intensely hued eyes and- generally- vibrant hair. I can’t control it. I have nothing against liking, or even finding someone above a size 5 intensely beautiful, but- for whatever reason- I’m not coded to find larger body types instantly arousing.

Sexual attraction has nothing to do with love, nothing to do with respect, and nothing to do with beauty.

And, frankly, doesn’t pretending it does demean all three?



Okay. So. About this.

I feel like I need to say this slow so maybe someone might actually get it.

People. Can. Come. Out. At. Any. Age.

People can fluctuate in what people/genders they find appealing. Some people are all Born This Way, but a lot, A LOT, fall somewhere shy of the extremes of the kinsey scale.

But Tony likes girls! He bangs models and loves Pepper/Beth/Whitney/Natasha! Well, bloo. I’ve been with plenty of girls. I love my wife. I’ve also been with plenty of boys. With a father like Tony’s, you think that he would have felt really safe being out or exploring any inclinations where people could see? And you know, he never in print thinks, ‘man, I sure do think boys are gross’ (he does think about Steve’s “handsome face and azure eyes” sometimes, make of that what you will.) So he could be hooking up with loads of male models too, just keeping it quite because of his image. There are SO MANY gay/bi celebrities that never come out because of the press/public reaction. Tony could easily be one of them.

And, Steve, Jesus, where to even start with Steve. For one, Steve is openly sportive of gay couples so you know he’s not got that 40’s hang up thing. His relationships with girls have always been sort of tacked on and under developed or just plain weird to the point where it’s not unreasonable to draw the conclusion that Steve is just with them because he thinks he should be with someone. Characters IN VERSE have speculated on him being gay. Steve coming out would surprise no one who had been paying attention. As for movie Steve, there is nothing saying he is not bi, nothing at all. He loved Peggy, she was awesome, who wouldn’t have? But he could easily be attracted to men too.

So there you have your “straight’ charters but the thing is, the actual real issue is, what does it change about the character for them to be gay? I tell you what, nothing. You can have Tony and Steve fucking like bunnies and it would not change a single thing about their core characteristics, the things that make the character who they are.

I know this is a touchy subject for some people because of the lack of gay characters in media and the politics involved but, objectively, if you took a gay character like Billy Kaplan and say Teddy (his boyfriend) died and after a period of grief he started seeing a woman. He would still be the same person. He would still act the same, the only difference would be that he was with a girl and he would be ‘officially’ bisexual.

It would the same the other way, Tony and Steve could date people of any gender and it would still be them. I can see making an argument that they might be a bad match or that you don’t think they like each other or whatever but if your main issue is that they could never ever be gay, you need to step back and look at your reasoning and ask yourself why the hell it matters to you.

I’m not going to talk about Superfamily because really, it can be cute or annoying depending on how it’s done, pretty much like any idea. I’m not a big fan of any one concept that starts dominating a ships fan work because I like variety. But as for Tony and Steve, if your strongest argument against it is, ‘but they aren’t gay,’ then, well, I hope you never have a character you like suddenly come out because it happens and as media gets more progressive it’s going to happen more and more so enjoy yourself while you can.

Yes! This!

Further, people’s sexuality can change more than once. It’s not (always) just a single realization of ‘oh, I’ve actually hated ____ gender all my life! I’m so glad I’m free to realize I’ve always secretly only liked ____s!’ Sometimes it’s ‘oh, wow, okay. Now I like girls’ and then ‘wow, okay, I like guys too!’ and maybe later ‘huh, gender really doesn’t matter to me anymore’ and then maybe ‘guys are kinda icky now- I think I just like girls!’

I went from non-sexual (kid) to gay, to bi, to pan/omnisexual, to gray and am currently vacillating between ace and pan. Sexuality isn’t a static thing!

And all those jokes about someone being (person)!sexual have some basis in reality. Someone can, for example, identify as completely straight, and be completely not effected by people of their gender except for that one individual to whom they’re attracted enough to marry. There is no set, binary rules for sexuality (for christ’s sake, some people are turned on by fish and you think gender really has anything to do with sexual attraction, oh my god).

The human mind, and to an extent, human sexuality, isn’t hard-coded to be set on ‘straight’ or ‘gay’. Very few people are strictly one or the other, even if most won’t be sufficiently motivated to act on it.

Please stop trying to dictate someone else’s sexuality (even if it’s a fictional character’s) and maybe try focusing on your own.



I have no idea where this came from, but.


I want fic where Tony’s a- or demisexual. He still sleeps with every busty, blonde, Vanity Fair reporter that smiles at him, but it’s because it’s expected.

He’s the rich, genius, party boy so of course he’s a playboy.

Of course he sleeps around.


Why wouldn’t Tony Stark have some of that.

Only he really doesn’t like sex.

Then Steve and Tony’s really close, really awesome friendship turns into a bit more and then a lot more, and Tony’s relieved, whew, 40s mentality, he’s safe, doesn’t have to have sex.

Only Steve’s been told that it’s normal for people to fuck like crazy before marriage now and he makes a move. And Tony- not wanting to disappoint Steve, wanting to give everything to Steve- goes along with it.

And their relationship starts to suffer as Tony gradually starts to resent the sex (he doesn’t hate it, not with Steve, he just wishes they didn’t have to have so much of it) and then pulls away, finds other things to do, locks himself in his lab.

I want this so bad I can taste the bitter ache it’s leaving in my heart.