AU Meme: Sam&Dean as spies with Castiel as their handler
“Copy that, Huggybear.”
um. yes please.
It wasn’t the first time they’ve failed a job.
It might’ve been the worst.
Dean can hear Cas, their handler, through his earwig, predictably wigging out, “—ever seen. I swear you have nothing better to do than make my life a living hell- why in the world would you ever give a civilian your legal? That’s what we gave you aliases for, you assbutts—"
"Yeah, yeah, chill it, Feathers-"
“That’s ArchangelOne to you, you dick-"
"-it’s not like I screwed the mission on purpose. I didn’t think anyone from my old school would recognize me, let alone be at some posh gig like this.” Dean yanks at his bowtie, scowling before Sam’s hands slap his away and get to untangling the knot.
ArchangelOne is still yammering in his ear and with a grimace, he pulls out the earbud, killing the feed.
Sam huffs, still concentrating on Dean’s tie.
"No, Archangel, he’s not listening. Well, I don’t know, maybe it had something to do with your blaming us for a ridiculous turn of fate that no one, save maybe God, could’ve predicted. No, I’m not telling him that. Or that.”
Sam finishes with the tie and yanks it off, his face flat and tight. Must really be pissed, Dean thinks, if Mr. Masks isn’t putting on a pleasant face.
"Look, if you two want to continue your petty, married spat, that’s fine, but don’t make me your go-between."
They both buckle up, the old Impala offering them a relatively safe form of transport, both sturdy in it’s steel frame, and blessedly free of any sort of advanced computer system that could be monitored or tracked. Dean starts up the car and pulls out without a word, the further tightening around Sam’s eyes showing his distaste at whatever Cas is still ranting about until his face falls completely blank.
"Dean. Dean, put in your ‘bud," Sam says, smacking his brother with the back of a hand.
"Ok, ok, jeeze, gimme a second," Dean pulls over and fishes in his suit jacket for the earbud.
When he puts it in, it’s to the sound of a radio news broadcast, “—and reports are still pouring in from the sight of the devastation, though deaths already number in the hundreds. Again, for those of you just tuning in, a bomb has been detonated in downtown LA. So far, no claim of responsibility or demands have been sent, though there are already FBI and FEMA agents on scene armed with ultrasound scanners and—"
There’s silence from the other end of the line before Cas’ voice comes over, clipped and tense.
“ArchangelTrue is calling all agents back to base. There’s a plane at McKinley fueled up and waiting for you. Come back now, KansasOne, Two."
"ArchangelOne…" Dean hesitates, but Cas must anticipate because he offers up a short phrase before signing off.
“…Preliminary reports indicate it might’ve been Lucifer Inc."
Beside him, Sam crumples forward, cupping his head in his hands.